w  rd 2 the woss

Bullying has been a problem in schools and in society for as long as anyone can remember. I’m sure most of us are getting tired of hearing the same presentations on anti-bullying every year. However, as boring and repetitive as it may seem, bullying is a constant problem that has yet to be fully resolved. Think of it this way, if you are tired of hearing the same “Bullying must be stopped” and “Here is a real life example of someone who has been bullied”, do something about it! The only way bullying will stop, is if everyone works together to make a happy, friendly environment.

 

Although we are constantly reminded by teachers and parents that they are always there for us and that we need to speak up when we are being bullied, it can be difficult to do so as, although the parents and teachers see it as getting help, the bullied or the bully can see this as weakness. We, as the friends and bystanders of the victims and the bullies, must always be open to lend a helping hand to stop the bullying. However, a simple “Please stop bullying him/her, there is no point” is not enough - especially in teenage years. Sometimes, friends are the ones who have to step up and confide in an adult. The adults in our lives do a lot more than we might think and telling them could be the big solution. Although telling an adult is possibly the best way to deal with a bully, we are constantly under the pressure of trying to solve our problems on our own. Here is some advice for those of you who wish to try and solve things on their own.

 

Ever since I moved schools, it’s been really hard for me to make friends. I had a ton at my old school but now, I’m always picked last in group work, everyone avoids me and I spend lunch breaks alone in the hall. I tried to be apart of a group, but they all push me away. It’s not unbearable, but I don’t want it to become unbearable. What should I do?

-Lonely At School

 

Dear Lonely At School,

Changing schools is always difficult, whether you know people or not, and it can be a challenge to feel comfortable at school again. Although it may seem impossible to fit in, it does get better. Even though many think that joining a club is pointless, it actually helps a lot. Being a part of something you enjoy, surrounded by people who share the same interest as you, can really help you make friends and be more involved in school. Try joining a club, you may think that it’s a waste of time and it won’t make a difference, but try it. It could create a great change in your life. Good luck!

 

Recently my friend has been changing, and not in a good way. She has been distant and has been avoiding me at all costs. I’m not even sure what I did, she just doesn’t want to be around me. She never acknowledges my presence and even when she knows I can help her with whatever she’s struggling with, she acts like I don’t know anything. It has been getting really annoying and I sometimes can’t stand to be around her. But, we used to be really good friends and I don’t want this to be the end of our friendship. How should I deal with this change in her?

-Fraud of a Friend?

 

Dear Fraud of a Friend,

Teenage years are a time of change. You are trying new things, going through your ups and downs, figuring out who you are. She could just be going through a phase, or possibly be having trouble at home. Remember that it’s probably not about - she could just be going through some new changes in life, as we all do. My advice is to hang out with other friends and keep your distance,  but be there to lend a helping hand incase she needs it. Most importantly, try to not get offended by what she says. It’s difficult to tell why she could be acting like this, but give her some space, don’t take the things she says too seriously and do not abandon her. She might not know what she wants right now, but should it be that she needs someone, you should be there for her. If this goes on persistently though, leave her - you’re worth more than that.

 

My friend thinks she’s fat because of one sarcastic comment one annoying guy made. She started a crazy diet plan and is constantly working out. She is already super skinny, but still thinks she needs to lose weight. The same guy is now constantly saying she’s even fatter than before, and he won’t stop. How do I prove to her that she is perfectly fine the way she is and that she has to start eating properly again in order to stay healthy and how do I get the guy to stop?

-Concerned

 

Dear Concerned,

If you have the courage, confront him. Tell him exactly what he’s doing and ask him why he finds it so amusing. He is probably satisfied with how much his comment is affecting your friend, which is why he is continuing. Let him know how much he is affecting your friend’s life. If that doesn’t work, it may be time to tell a teacher or parent know. Your friend is in a very delicate situation right now. She is constantly thinking about her weight and appearance and the slightest comment can set her off. You need to surround her with friends who care about her and slowly try to get her mind off of her appearance. Surround her with positivity, and show her that the people worth having around shouldn’t care about her appearance.

 

As seen above, there are many ways you can stop bullying and exclusion without involving adults, but sometimes they are the only ones who can help. Bullying continues to be a problem, and it may never truly disappear. However, if we all work together to stop bullies and show the victims that they are not alone in their struggles, we can reduce the amount of bullied kids and teens and make life just a little better.